quiet reminders

This summer has blown by in a whirlwind. Where did our time go? My boys are growing up before my eyes. Every shift I come home from, Gavin greets me while the entire house is still and sleeping. His bright blue eyes remind me of each coming day is full of life and light and needs to be cherished. Because only a few months ago he would point to things he wanted for breakfast and now he helps himself to a yogurt and asks "you watch monkey show with me, mama?" Oh how he melts my little heart.

I love summer because I can sit in the shade while watching the kids play and feel a small breeze dancing around me, as if it is whisperinging "watch, relax, and enjoy your children" and sometimes I do just that.

I worry about the next 2 years, how much help I will get from Brad. If school will be a stress on him or us. How work will affect my personal and family life while Brad is in school and I'm trying to make things work.

This is what summer is for. To force some sunshine on my soul, renew and refresh. I sat on the swings yesterday with Gavin on my lap. His little legs wrapped around mine as he yelled higher, higher mama, giggling the entire time. Love. Gavin sat back against my chest and stared at the sky. I wonder what he was thinking, swinging, looking up to the sky, no cares in the world. So I was there, swinging, reminded to live in the now and not to worry about later.

At the moment Ethan is singing to himself and painting a picture for his little friend to come. He is actually sounding out the letters and wrote "ethan, brooke com ovr" when did He learn to do that? He is my gentle child, always learning and observing. At times he'll come to me and say "I'm your special boy and your my special mom" or "I love you, you know?" and "mom, quit dinking around on your phone and watch me." Brad taught him to ride his bike yesterday without training wheels, while I was at a class for work. He text me the video and picture of my big boy. I cried a little. I hate being away for things like that, but I must at this point in my life. He is growing up way too fast. Sigh.

Today has been a quiet day. Housework, work mtg, and prepare for work tonight. I am grateful for life's little blessings. Gavin decided to go outside, I couldn't find him in the backyard so I went to the front. He was across the street driving his little hot wheel cars along the far curb! WHAT. I am so glad he did not get hurt. Blessing. I need to learn to count them more often.