mamahood

It seems after having children, that my life is consumed by my kids, and that is all I talk about. I don't think I've had a conversation since Ethan was born that didn't involve my kids in any way. How boring my kids and I must be to others who talk to me, but I sure think my life is FASCINATING, so I'll keep on chatting about us.

Today was mothers day, which I haven't really cared about this holiday ever, but today was different. I worked last night, came home from my 3rd 12 hr night shift to a quiet and clean house. There were remnants that little boys had been there, like the cup on the counter that had cartoon pizza slices on it from a trip out to lunch with my boys, one size 7 toddler shoe that I stumbled over, and the last hanger that I hung my jacket on was lime green and pint sized for the lil guys jacket. The plant that I passed had 5 leaves still surviving while the other leaves are long gone being ripped off by a 2yr old or snipped off by a 4yr old. I found myself smiling as I headed to my bed. I quickly changed into pj's and slid into bed to find my 2 yr old keeping my side of the bed warm. I moved him over between Brad and I and cuddled next to his thick little body. He smelled of bath soap and sweat, his cheeks were flushed and his hair was matted and dewy. I stared at his long eyelashes. He is mine. I did this. This child in my arms is a direct result of my very own actions. I prayed for him to come. I carried him for 9 months. It's amazing how much effort, love and dedication I've put towards my children. I thought as I was drifting off to sleep that mothers day is not just to honor and appreciate my own mother, but for me to realize how amazing it really is that I get the chance to be a mom.

Today was a little different, I remembered that these 2 rascals are mine, and I chose them. So when they were rowdy jumping all over the place like little monkeys, I threw them on my back and raced them around the house. I let the 2 yr old have one more spin in a circle even though I was quite dizzy, and gave the 4 yr old a piece of bread that just came out of the oven when he had already brushed his teeth and was laying in bed. When the boy with his mop of curls came out to tell me he was scared, but really used it as an excuse, I scooped him in my arms and carried him on my hip, his legs dangling down to my knees and all, around the kitchen while I finished cleaning. Boy is it hard not to give these boys everything they ever want just because I love them.

I love the smiles that Brad and I exchange over something our kids are doing, or the looks we give each other when we are both enjoying the our kids. Amazing how becoming parents have caused us to grow so much closer.

Today was a good day, when my mind is clear enough to think of this good life and how grateful I am for it. Happy mothers day.