I will miss this...

I was thinking about my kids today. I have 2 boys that are rough, messy and wild. There are some days I do think I will go deaf from their noise, and other days I think I will be bruised from all their wrestling, and some where I think I will go grey from all their energy and willingness to push the limits.

And today I thought, where did these children come from? Surely I never thought I would be the mom that let a child run around with unbrushed Tarzan hair. And the younger one with long nails lined with dirt and smears of dust and food across his face. Children running outside without shoes and the younger without pants and at one point today the older without pants and underwear. Never would I admit that my children did this today.

After 2 kids I have changed my views of motherhood and mothering. I feel there is a time and a place for everything. Today was without plans, so when my oldest said he didn't want to brush his hair, I didn't push it. When he wandered around without pants because he said he felt like it, I didn't care. When the younger refused to wash his face and flashed a charming smile as he ran from me, I let him. I let the boys stomp in all the mud puddles they want, and roll around in their clothes, and let them explore the soggy grass on their hands and knees.

I do this because one day I know I will miss all the grass stained knees, and stubborn dirt stains. I will miss all the sticky kisses and the days my boys smell like syrup when they asked for pancakes for a snack. I will miss those bare bums, and little boys balancing on tip toes through the dirt and grass. I know I will miss the hand prints on the glass and little finger smudges on my glasses. Because when these things are gone, so are my babies.

My friend, Katie, talked about a quote at church that really moved me. It is, "happiness is a journey, not a destination" I know I am guilty of saying, "when my child sleeps through the night, it will get easier" or other things of the sort. But what I have failed to recognize, is when my children sleep through the night, they will be older and I will have missed out on all the in between because I am looking and wanting for the future and not living in the now.

I don't care or fuss so much now, and let them be boys, because that is exactly what they are. Somedays I have to remind myself, but most days it is easy to remember that I will miss this when it is gone. I just love those 2 rascals to the moon and back. I can't imagine the thought of never having another child, and I can't wait to have another even if I have to wait a few more years, it will be worth it!