never run out of tp!

You know how I'm a mom, and since I am one, I wait for the very last minute that I'm doing the potty dance before I drop everything and go to the bathroom.  This one particular instance I found super humorous in the the life of a mom. There are a few things that I feel are a waste of time, going to the bathroom being one of them.  It's just so darn inconvenient and always has the worst timing, for me or my little dudes.  I kind of despise that place in general, and if you don't, then you haven't ever cleaned a toilet that your 2 little boys have marked their territory on.  This is how my story goes...

I wait until last minute to go pee.
Go flying into the bathroom, leave all doors open, barely make it, but still make it so it counts.
Notice when done that there is no tp on the holder, not even an empty roll.
Find hope that since there isn't an empty roll, the roll must be somewhere else.
Look around for the roll while sitting, don't find it.  In fact, can't find anything suitable to use in replacement for tp.
Yell at boys to bring me tp.
Boys come running in asking me what I am doing, touching all makeup and things on counter.
Youngest asks me to move so he can pee.
I again, ask them to get me some tp.
Oldest goes running out of the bathroom to get some. I am excited to finally get some tp.
Oldest stops just outside the bathroom door where he finds a large flashlight.
I yell for my oldest, the youngest tells me he is in my closet making spooky faces with the flashlight.
I tell my youngest I will give him some candy if he gets me some tp from his bathroom.
I can hear the youngest running down the hallway toward his bathroom, yes, finally, I will actually get some tp.
I hear the water turning on in the bathroom, I groan and knock on the wall.
I consider just pulling the pants up and getting tp myself...
Oldest comes into the bathroom, I tell him firmly to get me some tp RIGHT NOW.
He runs off, bickers with brother in the bathroom, comes back and says he doesn't have any!
I say fine, get me a napkin from the drawer in the kitchen, oldest meets youngest in hallway and tells him of the plan.
They both come running in saying they can't find any.  Youngest is covered in water, hair is matted to his head eating some bread he found in the drawer looking for a napkin.
I say, bring me a paper towel please from the counter.
They run off giggling, find something random in the living room, and I hear the TV turn on.
I YELL PAPER TOWEL PLEASE, FOCUS CHILDREN, GET ME A PAPER TOWEL.
It feels like minutes go by. No boys. No paper towel.
I YELL again, come in here boys!
Oldest yells back that there is only one paper towel. I say bring it to mommy.
Oldest brings me a paper towel, nicely folded in a square and dripping wet.
He hands it to me and says, "I got it wet for you like you do for me"

Thanks buddy, because everyone likes to wipe with a wet paper towel.

I should have just pulled the pants up when I realized we didn't have any tp...