Wash me

• Is it possible to feel bad for a teddy bear? Because I do, feel bad for this bear. I feel bad every time I steal him from Ethan to throw in the wash with a cup of bleach, 2 scented dryer sheets and get him out in a hurry like nothing happened. But Ethan does know, and he'll let me know. This is what he'll say. "NO MOM, teddy doesn't smell good, I don't want you to give him a bath ever again" he thinks Teddy smells like ice-cream when he is not washed. He DOES NOT smell like ice-cream, rather vinegarish stinky feetish fishyish smell. NASTY.


• If Ethan crawls into bed with us, I wake up to the smell of teddy and not Ethan climbing into bed, now that is BAD. I can smell the thing at least 2 feet away, and I wash him often!


• It must be a right to passage for a child's childhood comfort item just to plain old stink. Ethan rubs Teddy's ears on his cheeks while he goes to sleep, and that's only after sucking on the ear for awhile. You can only imagine what Ethan's cheeks smell like when he wakes up...


• Ethan happened to bring teddy to the store one time (i usually forbid teddy from leaving the house just out of pure embarrassment of his condition). While we were standing in line Ethan dropped him out of the cart. Out of the corner of my eye I watched the guy behind us bend over to get Teddy, he SERIOUSLY pinched the very corner of Teddy's ear to pick him up, held him as far away from him and gave him back to Ethan. I was so embarrassed!


• See, that's why I don't bring him anywhere! Ethan doesn't mind. He adores Mr. Teddy. He talks to him, tells him stories, sings to him, pretends he has special powers and actually takes pretty good care of him. Except when it's bedtime, and Teddy disappears... or in actuality Ethan hides him so he doesn't have to go to bed, sneaky child.


• When Ethan gets hurt, he cries, "I want teddy" pretty sad when your child screams for teddy instead of you. I really wish I could ask Teddy what he did to make Ethan adore him so much. I would just love to know.