a time to vent...

• You know the feeling when you are used to something and then finally suddenly realize that it's not okay? Like Ethan's hair for example! Or like the crayon mark along the wall that I said I would take care of later and now it's been at least 3 months! I am looking at the empty picture frame on the wall that has been there for at least a year, why don't I put a stinkin' picture in it and why haven't I noticed it before?! I have noticed a lot of these types of things in my life. I have become too content, letting my expectations and goals slip just a bit and not realize it until I have settled for something else. I also noticed if I don't take care of myself, then it is hard to take care of everyone else, and everyone else is depending on me.
• So guess what, I cut my hair and then a couple days later I dyed it. Some of you say, no big deal I do this all the time. Well, I don't, ever. I have been wanting to do this for a long time ( I remember telling people this at work many times) and just let everything else get in the way. I love it! Now, how many things can you say that you love about yourself?! My husband noticed (gasp) and even said he liked it (gasp, gasp) and is still complementing me on it (out of breath for gasping)! So to match my new hair, I have actually put my contacts in and done my makeup everyday since (I do feel better when I look presentable and hate hiding behind the corner when someone knocks on the door while yelling/ threatening Ethan to stay away from the door while he is trying to open it up and it is obvious that we are home)! Finding time for myself was a battle I had been fighting- feeling guilty because so much else needs to be addressed and was feeling selfish for thinking about me. So, I realized that something this simple has brought me happiness because I found time for myself, which is okay to do sometimes.
• After working on me physically, which is the easy thing to do, I am working on me emotionally and spiritually. This month's visiting teaching message talked about becoming a better member of the church by doing the basic things of gospel living and to be spiritually "self-reliant". I was touched by this comment since I always depend on others, especially Brad, to help me out with gospel essentials. I constantly go to him asking him to cite the scripture that is about this or that. I am even guilty of making him teach a lesson because I know he will do a better job than me or that he knows more than I do. I realized today that I am ripping myself off from opportunities to grow and develop, not to mention many, many blessings. So easy to say, so hard to do, but I can always start now. I mean, I don't want any type of scary experience like teaching Sunday School or talking in Church, but I can always take little opportunities to do the small things... so there, this is documented and I am really accountable now!
• You should think of something that you have been wanting to do (I am positive that you have a billion), and do it, I would love to hear about it. Find the time, even if it is a little bit, to do something for yourself that will make you happy because you deserve it (and it is totally worth it).