This week has been quite a blurr, taking care of brad and my boys and I got sick on top of it all. It was completely exhausting, especially since I got an annoying head cold where all you want to do is close your eyes but they burn so bad that you keep them open and all the other stuff that goes along with it. If you couldn't guess I really had little patience which I reserved for my kids and everything else got attitude. Brad just wasn't getting better, which was frustrating to me because I am used to finding a solution and fixing the problem. I talked with the docs nurses and they were little help, the kind that just wrote me off as a overly worried and annoying wife but they didn't know that I was actually a nurse and KNOW the signs of infection and dehydration. I also know that at his worst, a 200lbs man shouldn't look green, have hot and cold sweats, can only stand for minutes at a time before he passes out or get nauseated or dizzy, weak, pale, in and out of consciousness, rarely ate or drank, having severe breakthrough pain...this is NOT normal. Brad was not functional half the time and other times he would be okay. They would say, "well if it will make you feel better you can bring him in to get an IV" , duh lady I DON'T WANT TO FEEL BETTER, I want my husband to GET better. AHHH...so I took matters into my own hands and did it myself. Got stuff for IV and IV fluid, hung a few bags, made brad eat and drink, take meds and he is finally feeling a little better and looks a lot better. I figured all this awful junk was due to him being dehydrated, which I think he was. It's still hard to tell, I am just waiting for the world to come crashing down again, we shall see. Hopefully he gets better now, or can at least keep fluids and food down and sit up and be a dad and husband instead of lump of sleeping blankets on the couch. My kids would eventually end up sitting on Brad or ask him to cuddle them to get some attention from him.

I did not like being a single mother of "3" this past week, it was so difficult. I cannot imagine how my friends do it alone, just know I sympathize and think you are absolutely amazing women! As we always do, we managed with only a few breakdowns. Things like this make me want to live closer to home to have help without feeling guilty, or just having someone there to come and give me a break, even for 10 minutes. I really worried about Brad and at times wished my mom was here to give me comfort to say, "hes not that bad monica", you know, the mom comfort because sometimes I think the nurse takes over or the wife takes over and I cannot differentiate the two and just need another unbiased opinion. It's finally sunny again outside, so maybe things will look up and Brad will finally emerge out of his shell today and feel better!