my Christmas gift

• This year I have 2 very expensive items on my Christmas list , they're called Gavin Puffpaff and Kidney surgery. I think we will officially own Gavin for Christmas. As for my kidney, it won't be mine for a few more payments. They can repo it if they want as long as I don't have to pay, sometimes I wish it was that way, they can do it for houses and cars, why not kidneys? My kidney was more than Gavin was, imagine if I actually had another surgery in addition to the stent placement, so I can be grateful for that. Ethan also gets an expensive ER trip for his lip this Christmas, good thing he won't remember what he got, but unfortunately will have a scar. If he asks what he got for Christmas when he was 2 I can point to his scar and say "that" and it was $200.00, don't expect that kind of gift again MR.!

• I do have to say that somehow we always make ends meet, especially at this special season. I wish I could give give give, if only I had a million dollars, even then it wouldn't be enough to show my gratitude to my friends and family. We will be driving home to Seattle this Christmas to celebrate with my family, just being there for a break will be more than enough of a gift.

• Going to my childhood home for Christmas reminded me of a story that happened when I was little. One Christmas I asked my mother if I could have more presents than my other siblings. Why I asked this when I was at least 8 or younger, I have no idea, but I did. My mother being wise said "No" and explained the actual gift of Christmas, what we are supposed to remember on Christmas. Also, at church she was teaching the primary about Christmas and said that one of her children asked for more presents than the others. I obviously was mortified sitting there having all the kids looking around at me and my brother, who was shaking his head innocently that it wasn't him, wondering who said it. I felt very guilty and sad that Christmas of what I had done....I thought I had learned my lesson from something my mothers said about Christmas being a time for giving. "For giving" was what stood out to me, I remember wishing that I was "forgiven" for saying that and hoped my mother would forget that it ever happened. I thought she was talking about forgiving people on Christmas and not for giving, but as a little child I do think that my skewed misunderstanding of her words have some merit. I think when we reflect on Christ this Christmas we can and should take this opportunity to be forgiven for our sins and also forgive those who have offended us or who cause us to carry bitterness in our hearts towards them. Also to forgive ourselves for not meeting up to our standards of what we want to be. I feel that I am too hard on myself, and as the year closes with many of my personal goals still wide open not even close to being met, I can forgive myself and start fresh with the new year. So with the spirit of Christ don't forget to forgive as well as give this year.