I was wondering lately if my body just isn't cut out for the pregnancy thing. Last time with Ethan I went into pre-term labor and had to take terbutaline and be on bed rest until delivery, I wanted to die after the first week of bed rest. This time I get this sweet little/big kidney stone that blocks my kidney and causes my kidney to swell with urine hence the stent allowing it to drain. But in the meantime I am constantly reminded of the stent on my right side, exactly 4 inches from the belly button about the length from my ribs to my ovaries, it feels like there is a knife in there! If I sit perfectly still, no slicing, but since I have a baby inside...i get plenty of kicks, punches, and feel like I have seriously chopped liver/kidney. This little guy inside loves to beat the thing to death, yeah, I know how he feels I don't want it in there as much as he does! I have been brought to tears many times due to this, and not because I am hormonal...I wish! Sleeping is a nightmare, laying down is horrendous, so I sit- I sit sleeping. As you can imagine, that is REALLY fun and easy to do! So feeling defeated and worn out, I was wondering if this is for me...
Thank Heavens for Ethan!
We had a long day today, I had to run errands and was worn out. We came home while Brad went to the cafe to do some business and I was in charge of Mr. Ethan. I really just wanted to put him to bed and just sit down for a moment but the mother in me started feeling guilty. So we played in the tub and got ready for bed, turned on his music and I decided to rock him and sing a few songs. After a few songs Ethan looked up at me and said "book peese" of course I couldn't say no. He chose the "I love you forever" book, he sat very still during the entire book holding my hand and rubbing it (okay major heart breaker) and when the book was over he let me put him to bed. I gave him his Teddy and blanket and whispered in his ear "I love you forever" and MY little boy, my special little boy whispered back "FOREVER". Yes, it made me think I would do this a million times for precious moments like that. My special little boy, reminded me that I am not only doing this for me, but for him and for the little guy inside. Go Motherhood!
9 comments:
That's so sweet! I love the little moments like that...they definitely help you get through the hard times.
Monica, I am so sorry to hear that you're having such a hard time with your kidneys! I can't imagine how you can handle that, being pregnant, and taking care of a busy toddler at the same time. I hope that everything goes well in the next few weeks. Ethan is such a sweety. What a cute little boy he is. I'm adding you to my blog list if that's alright. I just started one. Our address is www.tysonemily.blogspot.com Take care!
So, I was reading my friend Jessica's blog and stumbled onto yours, haha. I hope you feel better, and you two should definately come down soon, and we can chat, and I will make your fave brownies, I hope that doesn't sound like too much of a bribe. Anyway, I have a blog to, here it is, http://nickandcyn.blogspot.com/
Wow, Monica, that's such a sweet story, and awesome tribute to Motherhood. You are amazing to have to go through all of this and you're still surviving! Way to go! When are you due???
I seriously started welling up when I read that. You are so blessed, even though it is hard now, you will reap the reward, ten thousand fold.
Ah, now I'm crying too! That is such a sweet experience, thanks for sharing it. Every time I get to thinking that I'm not sure I can do this, I get a little hug or a laugh and remember how precious and fleeting these moments are, and what a great blessing to have them at all. *sigh* I'll go cry some more now. :)
You are so lucky Ethan is such a sweetie. He can tell that you're hurting and I'm sure he just wants to make you feel better. Good luck in the next couple weeks!
monica we all miss you and talk about you at work and surprisingly its not bad stuff!!! kidding. its mostly how we all feel for you and want you and the baby to be ok. emma was wondering if we could borrow roxy sometime and i was wondering if i could borrow ethan?! i could come get him and brad could pick him up on his way home from work. let me know. i'm off of a couple of days after tonight.
I love that story. Aren't you so thankful for little moments like that to help you remember and ground you as the frustrations of life become overwhelming. HANG IN THERE!!!
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