Dear Prune Juice

Dear Prune Juice company,

This is what your label should say, and if it did, my life would have been wonderful!

Warning:

If your child experiences constipation to the point where they are crying on the toilet, use our product because it works. The usual dosage is 1/2 cup of prune juice per day. Try to avoid over indulgence of giving your child this in his cup with each meal, snacks and any other time. This can be prevented by communicating with your husband about how much he has already had. Husbands tend to try to fix the problem immediately instead of slow and steady and usually cause the side effects of over drinking prune juice. The side effects of prune juice include explosive diarrhea in a child. You may find this humorous the first time, and even sit in the bathroom while the child completely empties their bowels, which is fine. The hard part is trying to explain to your 2 year old what is happening. And as time goes on it is not fun cleaning Hershey squirt marks in their undies and fearing nap time because you don't know if you'll end up cleaning up his bed and sheets too. Warning signs of this side effect is putrid toots from your child and hearing your child announce "toot", or "I pooted" more often than he usually does in an hour accompanied by the rotten smell shockingly coming from a child. A major warning sign is anything that you cannot believe came from your 2 year old, i.e. thunderous farting, rotting butt smells, and continuously passing gas with laughing, screaming and bending over to get toys-- at this point your better run your child to the toilet!

Yesterday, this morning, and nap time could have been better with this label.

Thank you,

Monica

P.S. because your label did not contain this, you owe me the price of the underwear that I threw away and the cost of 2 loads of laundary and a million dollars for pain and suffering for my child and myself.