Tuesday, June 24, 2008

twinkle twinkle

Ethan 20 months
  • Two nights ago I was rocking Ethan to sleep, I was going to lay him down in his crib but he pointed to the rocker and said "rock, rock". How could I say no! So with Ethan laying on my chest and over my belly, I was rocking him and singing "twinkle twinkle". After one verse I started over and Ethan started singing! He actually said, "twinka twinka yitta swar". I died! He looked at me, clapped his hands and said, "Yeah"! So I immediately call Brad in to hear Ethan sing, of course he shakes his head and says, "no, no". He will not do it on demand or for anyone else. Last night I rocked him again and sang twinkle twinkle, and low and behold, Ethan sang his verse as well. It must be a special moment only for me. Ethan and my secret! It made my heart ache, will I ever be able to show my love for my children?!

  • It made me think of this new little guy coming to this earth. Am I ready? Do I have enough love to go around? Will I be able to provide for my entire family and their needs? I came to the conclusion that I am not fit for this type of job, my heart hurts to much and I cannot bear the thought of Ethan growing up, becoming older and not needing me anymore! It is a good thing that I am not doing this alone, I have my husband to keep me grounded and the Lord to keep me going.

2 comments:

Steph said...

Your family photos are amazing. I love the serious one where your lips are all pouty. Cute! I rolled over laughing while reading your pregnancy rant and Ty laughed about how brad thinks you look like a polygamist in the 80's. Ethan is so cute how he gives only you his private encore of twinkle . Thanks for sharing your fun stories!

Hewards said...

You have to write that story in your journal so you never forget how you felt. All mother's have those feelings for their second I hear. You'll be coaching me in the future I'm sure.